Lots of straight men are turned off by the idea of anal play to be fair, many bi and gay men are tooand as a result are missing out on a whole world of fun. This is the third in a multi-part series from After Hours about anal play. You can see the other posts in the series as they come out here.
If I had a nickel for the number of times someone has approached me on the street, grabbed me by the shoulders, and shouted, "FRANK! Primarily because people don't ever recognize me on the street, and also because that's a strange question to lead with. But the point still stands that there's a male obsession with the butt hole that women, especially women who aren't into anal stimulation, don't understand.
Anal sex used to be something that not many people spoke of. More for the backroom of the video rental store, it was not mainstream—in the least. With each generation, however, sexual mores break down a little more, and people increase their comfort level.
Relationships, like produce, milk and reality television stars, have a shelf life. Most couples find that after a few weeks, months, or years, the luster fades and the initial carnal fury that brought them together has dissipated. The moldy codgers who get past this sexual brick wall do so by developing an elaborate series of coping mechanisms.
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OK, here we go: This month's column is dedicated to anal play. Still with me? Great, because an increasing number of couples—and at least one Girls character this season we're looking at you, Marnie —are exploring the sexual delights that both men and women can find around back.
As a gay guy, there will probably come a time when a straight guy asks, confused, why you'd let another guy stick his dick in your bum. For anyone inexperienced in arseplay, getting fucked can sound painful and it's hard to imagine how it could be pleasurable at all. Those of you having a good time bending over for some D will know how it can get you harder than ever and have you shooting cum like crazy.
Why do men love anal sex? Every guy I've dated has requested anal at some point, even to the point of begging. This experience seems to be ubiquitous in heterosexual relationships. What's the big deal?
Many women wonder what it is with the male fascination with heterosexual anal sex. Men seem to fantasize obsessively about anal sex. Hundreds of porn movies are made every year fetishizing anal sex.
Would you say anal sex is demeaning to women? Man A: The only way it can be is with the intent to demean. A friend of mine who is a pretty ardent feminist and former National Organization for Women intern told me she used to think doggy style sex was demeaning to women until she tried it and found it felt awesome. So no, anal isn't demeaning to women as long as she's a willing participant and the intent is for both people to have fun and get off.